


The Epic Of Kim Seokjin; The Eldest Hyung™

by Psycho_the_ARMY



Category: Kpop - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Bad Puns, Cute Seokjin, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Kim Seokjin | Jin, Hurt/Comfort, Kim Seokjin | Jin Is a Good Hyung, M/M, Multi, Other, Protective Kim Seokjin | Jin, Sad Kim Seokjin | Jin, kpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-06-12 00:21:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15327615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psycho_the_ARMY/pseuds/Psycho_the_ARMY
Summary: Kim Seokjin was the Eldest Hyung™. And as the oldest, he took care of his members even if he ended up hurt.





	1. The Epic of Hunger

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooo everybody, 100000000000000 years later and im back. I should have updated my other work but, this has been in my head for a while so....
> 
> Anyway, feel free to leave me a comment. It doesn't even have to be about the story. Just let me know How your days been? Or anything else.
> 
> ENJOY <3

Kim Seokjin was a man of many trades. Not only was he a visual of Bangtan, he was also a vocal and a damn good dancer if he said so himself. But he was also the oldest in the group. And as the Eldest Hyung™, he had many hyung-ly responsibilities.

Such responsibilities included the following; caring for the younger members, guiding them, raising them on his own back, making sure they didn’t fight and kill each other, feeding them because no one but him and Yoongi could cook, (food that was both edible and didn't result in the complete destruction of the apartment and Yoongi was usually too busy creating songs to cook) cleaning up after the younger members (because Jungkook and Taehyung were a disaster all on their own and Namjoon was no better. At least Jimin, Hoseok, and Yoongi were neat.) and making sure that they didn’t overwork themselves to the point of passing out.

But he also did other things for them, since he had grown to love them so much. He made sure to pack them lunch if they had a busy schedule, he made sure they ate properly (fuck those damn diets) he made sure they slept as much as possible, he cared for them when they got sick or hurt, more often than not he was the one to comfort them when they missed home. He made sure to remember each of their birthdays, get them gifts on Christmas. Seokjin also never missed an opportunity to remind Namjoon he was indeed very beautiful and that he was greatly loved. He made sure Yoongi's mental health was not in shambles, that Jimin's body issues had an outlet, that Taehyung's homesickness was not too unbearable, that Hoseok didn’t hide all the negative emotions behind a smile in front of him, and that Jungkook's insecurities didn’t get to a point where the youngest member hurt himself. 

The was one very memorable occasion where they were supposed o be on diets for a comeback. But the members had been so hungry Jin had "accidentally" left enough money, where each member would find, to go out and sneak themselves a bowl or two of jjajangmyeon. Of course, after giving each of the six members money, he didn’t have enough for a bag of chips for himself, much less a bowl of food. So Seokjin sucked it up and went hungry just to make sure his members ate without feeling bad about not telling the others. It had worked for a few days until one of the members was careless and left his garbage where a manager could see.

Which of course they ended up seeing. They were all called into the room and yelled at, threatened with the possibility of an even harsher and longer dieting period if one of them didn’t fess up. Jin knew none of the members would want to confess but he also couldn't let the managers extend the dieting period, so he had stepped forward. He told the managers that the trash had been his and that he was sorry, but not punish the others for his mistake. The managers made the others leave, yelled at him, and had given him an even worse diet. Instead of a bowl of Ramen in the mornings and several small cups of vegetables during the day, and a cup of coffee or juice, he would only be allowed to eat one small bowl of plain rice in the mornings and half an apple with water for dinner. The members all finished their diets in a week but Seokjin was made to diet for an extra two weeks and was under constant supervision. 

By the end of the two weeks, Jin had passed out several times, gotten sick and thrown up nothing but bile, and his head was in a constant state of 'pain-migraine-ow.' His stomach was in pain 24/7. He was in a constant state of nausea, shakiness, and fatigue, yet he couldn't sleep. All in all, Kim Seokjin felt terrible and was convinced he was going to die in his sleep. But it was all worth it. He would do anything to help the members, even if he got hurt in the process. Not that the others seemed to notice. But it was okay, Jin didn't mind. He was used to being invisible.


	2. A Boy with Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's just a boy with love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK. ALSO, WHo STILL NEEDS A ROSE BOWL DAY 2 FLOOR TICKET? i know someone selling

Kim Seokjin was euphoric. The feeling of being on stage was the most wonderful feeling in the universe. Every time he was on stage, he felt high. Higher than high. He soared. People loved him. Every single one of the fans chanting his name. Thousands and thousands chanting his name. It was a prayer. During his solo, he was untouchable. Seokjin was a **god**. He never told anyone these feelings. He couldn't. People might think he was arrogant or full of himself. But he really wasn't. These moments were the only times he ever felt **loved**. It was some of the only times he ever felt **needed** , **wanted** , **adored**. Seokjin was _seen_.

But it did not last forever. All the most beautiful things lasted the shortest amount of time. Being on stage, it was the most bittersweet feeling. It was the highest point of his life but while he was up there, he was also remembering how it would feel to come down from that high. It would end. The concert would end. he excitement would wear off. They would pile into a van and drive off to their hotel. He would shower, scrubbing off the last bit of that day's event from his skin. All the sweat and the makeup would be away down the drain like they never existed. The sadness and loneliness of being invisible would come back refilling the empty shell he normally was. He'd go back to being a background character in his own life. He'd go back to being ignored. 

In Japan, they had a term of something like this.  _Mono no aware._ The gentle sadness that came from the fleeting nature of things. Cherry blossoms, riding a rollercoaster, eating a favorite snack. 

Seokjin sighed. The bedside clock showed how late it was. Or early? 3:34 am. They all had to be up early to got to an interview with some magazine but he could not sleep. Again. The feelings of longing were getting bad. When he wasn't feeling depressed or empty, all he could feel was longing. All he wanted to do was be back up on that stage. He wasn't chasing dragons anymore He found his dragon and it was the stage. Without it, he felt lost. Hollow. His stomach growled snapping him out of his thoughts. His dragon could wait, for now, he wanted a snack. 

He was grateful for hotel mini fridges. His managers didn't need to find out how often he broke his diet thanks to those little boxes of junk in every hotel room. Seokjin opened the fridge and was greeted by a halo of nasty, bright light shining over ice cream, several small alcoholic beverages, and what he has snuck earlier that day. Three large bowls of frozen jajangmyeon. Seokjin licked his lips and grabbed a bowl to heat in the microwave. He was lucky everyone was a heavy sleeper. Walking back to his room with his now hot bowl of jajangmyeon, he smiled. 

The bowl let out a steady stream of steam as he pulled back the lid. It smelled heavenly. He opened his laptop and rewatched  _Strong Women Do Bong Soon_ as he ate. It helped him forget his reality. Nothing existed besides the characters in the drama and his bowl. There was no need to feel sad. 

The sadness never really went away anymore. It was always in the back of his mind. A nasty dark little demon who enjoyed destroying everything it could get its claws into. Seokjin did his best to keep it in the back of his mind. He had constructed a prison there for it. Sometimes it got out and did disgusting things to everything. sometimes it stole his food and made it poison. the slightest touch repulsed him. Some times it hurt his stomach and he would feel sick for days. it would mess with his head giving him migraines. It would make him feel things and imagine hateful things. The internet called it anxiety. He called it Carl the shitbag.

The last bit of jajangmyeon touched his lips. At least he was not hungry anymore. He was not empty, well physically. The bedside clock's glowing green numbers told him it was now 6:17 am. He had to be up and out the door soon. Another shallow interview, another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch me be gone for months again. SERIOUSLY WHO WANTS TO BUY FROM MY DUMBASS FRIEND. (face value)


End file.
